Get #1 on Google by writing an e-mail

The internet is a big pond, and we all start as little fish. But swimming to the top of Google isn’t as hard as you think. EmailsFromCrazyPeople recently had an email forwarded to them with the solution.

Hello,

My name is John Smith and I run www.website.com. I am into this niche business for over 2 years and we have optimised our site well to rank for the keywords one, two & three in Google. Yesterday I saw that your site is ranking higher that us for those keywords.

But in fact what I see is that your site is useless and doesn’t have anything related to the keyword.

Can you please removed your site from Google, so that our site may go higher. Please understand this is our main business and we cannot afford to be there so the best thing will be that you remove your site from Google.

If you don’t agree to remove your site from Google for this keyword we may go to up to any extent and may sue you for this. Please don’t force us to do so.

Thanks,
John Smith

Now all I have to do is…

Write a few dozen threatening emails to other graphic designers and have them remove their sites and I’ll be number 1 on Google! Wow, I never knew it was so easy to reach the top.

First thing is to write a letter to actor Andrew Keir. Sure he was born 56 years before me but that’s no excuse for out ranking me for my own name.